living in a myth

Who am i and where am i headed? Why do i feel lost and what am i looking for.

These are the quintessential questions that i ask myself everytime i am faced with a road block in my life. Why do i question life each time that i am faced with a problem. Why is it that when everything is going well i never ask myself these perennial questions unless i am sad and having trouble dealing with my existence. Howcome i never question life then, when i am happy travelling in the mountains and looking at the wonders that the nature has in abundance for me. All i do at that time thank god for giving me a beautiful life and a fabulous existence. I feel from deep within that everything will fall into place and the song ' Every little thing" by Bob Marley hums in my head while walking down the winding paths with village kids.

But the moment am stuck in my life in the city, heartbroken and not enjoying my job, these questions come back to me and haunt me. Why???

Do i really want to know where am i headed or do i even care how long the road is ...as long as i can see the road in front of me and i know i am protected...today as i sit back and think. I dont.

I dont care what my destination is going to be as long as the journey is beautiful and interesting. I dont really care who is going to be with me in the end till the time i know that i wont be alone for a single minute in my journey. I will always have someone to sings songs with, or share a cigarette with or share a laugh with in the journey of life. I will never be alone, as long as i am open to explore and travel and see places beyond my imaginations.

The road calls me and i follow it.

My tryst with Mumbai

I call Mumbai my extra marital affair. I run to it whenever i feel exhuasted and frustrated with my first love Delhi. As a person who has lived in Delhi for my entire life - my birth city, i feel somewhat disloyal when i sit by the window in my mumbai apartment staring at the sea and falling in love with the city.
My tryst with Mumbai started around 8 years ago when i had come here for the first time like everyone else to find myself. I was just out of college and did not know what to do with my life. Thought it would be a good time to explore oppurtunities. Well i did manage to convince my parents and came to this city and a PR course in my hand. The first few weeks were difficult. Getting acquainted with the humid weather, the dialect which often comes across very rude for people from my part of India, the culture and the roads, traffic and the distance and the list goes on and goes on. There are a lot of things you can hate about Mumbai but you cant help but fall in love with it. The energy is welcoming, its like you are being greeted when you walk out of your flight. The air is tangy and the feel is warm, obviously there is the constant smell of the sea sometimes of dry fish and sometimes of muck. But then one gets used to it, because the city lets your breathe.
I learnt to stay alone and be independent in this city without any fear. I have made friends and lost them in this city. I have broken my heart and found love again in this city. Its been a journey in itself - my affair with this great city. The rains are beautiful, the bollywood is in your face, the striking billboards and the cheap pubs. Everything about this city is juxtaposed within itself. I have learnt to live with these contradictions and survive.
You can either love it or hate it well have tried so hard to be loyal to my first love and it hurts me everytime not to be with my maîtresse when i am in Delhi.